Mims

“Baby Love” by Nicole Sherzinger Feat. Will.I.Am. <3 I fell in love with this song the first time i heard it because it reminded me how Tam and I was. I thought it was perfect, next to our song, “Two is better than one” by Boys like Girls. I can’t stop listening to it, its all i ever want to hear. It reminds me of how my relationship with tam should be.

Lately, our arguments and disagreements just got the better of us. I can’t stop thinking about how our relationship is falling apart. It is tearing me apart. I can’t compromise anymore. I can’t try anymore…it seems like it never gets better. Its like my mood, it will be okay but than later it will change again and it hurts so much. I can’t imagine how my life will be without him, but i guess i can’t depend on him anymore. I shouldn’t. Our ways are way too complex. We’re slowly not going the same direction anymore. 

What should i do. I can’t believe i’m saying this but…i’m actually “thinking” about breaking up. Yes, i’m thinking about it. I think it would be for the best. The arguments would be over, and maybe we’ll be better friends than lovers? Is that it? Its not that i stopped trying or that i’m giving up on this relationship..but it’s because nothing is the same anymore…i’m putting pieces together that i can still see the cracks appearing. Nothing is the same.  

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Hmmm, i feel so empty. Can you make me feel better? but of course, you’re the reason for my emptiness. You fill me up in joy and happiness and you can also empty me out with the last bit of emotion i got left.

blah blah blah.

so where do i go from here? Hmm, backyard scenery seeing.

my rant for today. thank you.

oh and, Happy birthday to Hannah Banana & Minh-Pee.

<3

I don’t know, but it is very beautiful outside right now. Knowing that if its full moon then that means Texas also have a full moon too. I think i miss texas. I used TX-646 today instead of the MN-694 :/ hahahaha, i said it outloud too…i was like…remember to go on “646” ahhahaha. T_T

Hmmm, huge fight resolved. I think i feel a lot better now. ;D i can’t wait to leave this house. UGH why is my uncle’s TOSHIBA’s laptop screen so small? its like i’m reading ant letters. like its in zoom 25% or something. f*ck it, lol i just hope i don’t misspell. HEHE.

Tomorrow, tam and i have to wake up early to go to my cousin’s college orientation somewhere an hour away from here. Well i’m excited to see the MN campus because its so greeen here :D i’m just not excited about waking up that early with ugly hair and no makeup on. Mwaahahahaa prepare to see some skin instead of glitter and powder! T__T

Soooo when i come back…celebration? Oh and my graduation is on Friday June 4th at 7pm, anyone coming to support me? :D let me knowwwww.

You guys liked the picture because i looked fat? I KNEW IT!! Haha, kiddingg. In all seriousness…i feel so bleh right now. I think its because i ate random things tonight because i’m at my dad’s side. I ate ramen noodles and popcorn chicken. eww, never again will i try that.

Hmm, I’ll be back in Texas in a week from now. =/ I don’t know why, i’m a little sad but happy at the same time. Sad, because i’ll miss this beautiful weather, scenery, and family. Happy, because I’ll see you guys very soon, plus annie, and my BeeDee and such. Oh, i’m not looking forward to college at all. :( I won’t have much time afterwards. My schedule for june is so retarded. I have class from 11:20 to 2:45 and than i have break and come back from 5:30 to 7:50. So i only have mornings and inbetween time which is from 3-5, which isn’t a lot. =/ I think july is the same way T_T ugh, and i have class with Tam too. His lazy butt is probably gonna make me do all the work. FML.

Well anywho…Everything is fine between Tam and I. I am just so friggin’ emotional some times, and maybe DO need to hear that extra ‘iloveyous’ to feel better. I don’t care if i’m clingy, i just need to know because love is a very strong and powerful word that can make you weak. **correction from Jackie’s post. I don’t believe that love is a weak word, it is truly powerful and can make you weak if you don’t recieve the same love back in return. Love does things to people that can change their lives, more happier or in despair. Love can change you, and it comes in all different forms. No one is unloved, because unloved isn’t a word, and everyone is at least loved somehow.

and Jackie: I love you. (uh, no homo. hehe) so stop being so negative. I pretty much stopped using the phone since vacation started. I got so caught up, and the day you texted me…my phone was off lol and i replied on Tam’s but then he took it from me T_T lols. I’ll text/call you when i get backk. <3

Hoai: I have to call you to talk to you about something, plus with Anjana and Kristy.

Ehhhh, i miss my room D:

I would wonder if it’s really worth it. Everything is not the same as how it used to be. We all grown together and apart. The feelings are slitting into pieces and we are desperately gluing the pieces together. Still, there are cracks shown. What do i do? I really don’t know what to do. We tried our best to make it work but in the end it always end the same way. No matter what happens, i know i’ll always love you. I love you so much that it hurts, i don’t even know if that is possible, but it is. I just can’t take this anymore. I don’t want to be mad at you, I don’t want to fight, and most importantly I don’t want to be with out you. 

Life has its ups and downs, but that just makes us stronger every time… doesn’t it? I know you’re trying, but sometimes maybe all i need is to be reminded that you love me. Three simple words, repetitive everyday… is that really hard to ask? Lately, i have to say it first, and it doesn’t bother me because i mean it. I love you so much. I just want to hear it sometimes and feel special like how i used to when we started dating. I don’t want our love to fade, thats the last thing i want. 

It’s not you that made this happen, maybe its my fault…maybe we weren’t meant to be..? I don’t know, but i’m trying my butt off to not let go…and i don’t know…if you’re not trying anymore…i think i should let go… as it hurt me to say this…maybe we need a break to think about it more… i just want to know what you think. I don’t want to hurt you…but this is killing me. Do you love me like you used to? Because…I do and so much more. :( i just wish you do too.

goodnight.

Well i can tell you that the flight wasn’t that pleasing. Usually i can handle a few hours at the airport and two hours on the plane and switching flights…but i was so exhausted..you have no idea. Tam and i was very hungry and tired and dizzy and a bunch of stuff. Lol, I’m using you uncles macbook so i really don’t feel like using grammar. Sorry if you don’t understand my rants today. Well when we finally landed in Minnesota and got our bags..we waited for my uncle to pick me up. Turns out i was at the small airport (Humphey?) I don’t know. But yeah, he picked us up and there were like half my family picking me up. 0_0 lol i was very excited. We went out to eat at a buffet somewhere near Hopkins and then went to visit my grandpa in St.Anthony. <3 I miss them so muchhh, so you should know how happy i was to see my family again. I was practically like a child. I haven’t been this happy all year. But after a long day..of catching up with family members and unpacking..i’m tired as hell. I don’t know what my plans are yet. I’m planning to go to my dad’s side for about 2 days max and visit and then return to my sweet hometown and catch up with old friends. I have no idea. Tam and i are renting a car on the 25th for a week so we’ll be out a lot. Hmm, so far everything is going smoothly and greaaat. I loveee it. I’m so happy, but what i’m worried about is Tam. He seems quiet and out of place. I know he doesn’t know anyone here but me and i guess my excitement might makes him feel like an outsider a bit…but i’m so glad he is here with me. There is no one else i would rather have family time with than with my boyfriend whom i love very very much. <3 Updates soon? Prom pictures are uploaded on facebook. I can’t upload them on here until i’m back in my own house. Lol. Laptops are such a hassle. lol MOA on the 19th for sureee though :D

jacquelinesung:

x3mims:

jacquelinesung:

x3mims:

jacquelinesung:

as of monday night…it hasnt been working d:

 Are you still coming over tomorrow?

i thought you were picking me up…lol…but eah its on tomorrow

 Yeah i was..but i need to know if you’re still going. and YES it is tomorrow :D

 lol of course im going!!

 CALL ME ON MY CELL PHONE! I NEED TO KNOW WHEN TO PICK YOU UP! >.<”
Umm how bout 2ish? Man…i’m just going to barge on over to your house around 2 or 1 and knock on the door. You better be homeeee!! D:

jacquelinesung:

x3mims:

jacquelinesung:

as of monday night…it hasnt been working d:

 Are you still coming over tomorrow?

i thought you were picking me up…lol…but eah its on tomorrow

 Yeah i was..but i need to know if you’re still going. and YES it is tomorrow :D

jacquelinesung:

as of monday night…it hasnt been working d:

 Are you still coming over tomorrow?

So i said to some of you guys that i’ll post up a blog about my birthday. Honestly…it was just so plain and horrible i didn’t want to share it. I’m sorry, but i’ll tell you about it in person if you ever wanted to hear. Hmm…so everything is this week! Prom and vacation! woooo, i’m excited. I’ve been stressing so much with so many things and budget that it kept me busy from everything. I’m sorry if i don’t text or call anyone anymore. I’ve been having headaches lately and just stayed at home and rest all week. For those of you who don’t know, i fell on stephen’s birthday and have a hugeee ugly scar on my right leg. It is disgusting and isn’t going anywhere for awhile. It is still there and visible and it looks new. T_T *sigh, well i guess i’m not that excited for prom anymore. I just want Vacation to come! Hmmmm…i think i still have insomnia. I can’t fall asleep at all. I want to continue watching “Cinderella’s Sister” but the episode i am on they haven’t fix the video yet. It’s driving me nuts! ah, i’m such an addict.

I have so much things to rant about, but than if i do that now…this blog post would be very messy with random topics stirring everywhere….But i promise i’ll keep up to date as soon as i can. Maybe when everyones sleeping in Minnesota…i’ll sneak on and write a few of them. ;] muahaha, lols. Some topics i need to update you guys on are:

• Officially Legal.
• Never ending love.
• I didn’t want to say goodbye, but i have to.
• I got a job! :D
• College change.

and there might be more..but i probably forgot by then. Hmmm and the things i WILL update you guys on when i come back from vacation:

• Minnesota!
• Tam’s experience in my homestate.
• Graduation Walk & Project Grad.
• The college experience.

:/ eh, now i’m kinda sleepy. Goodnight tumblr.

noodlecuphoai:

To the most spontaneous, crazy, and amazing friend a girl could ask for. I hope you have a wonderful 18th birthday. I’m so glad I met you last year. It feels like it’s been longer though x] You’re gonna be a college girl soon and I’m gonna miss youu :( You’re gonna do something amazing with your life. I know it.

I hope you get everything that you wish for, because you definitely deserve it :]

Love,

Hoai :]

 You are the most sweetest little thing ever. <3
Thank you, this actually made my day, but sad to say…I didn’t celebrate my birthday. It felt like a regular day to me. I did nothing and i spent my birthday like it was just a regular sunday. I’m kinda upset because i couldn’t see anyone and my family treated me like crap. But i don’t know, i guess i’ll post another blog soon. I will see you very soon. I have so many papers to turn in to the high school and other graduation preparations before i leave out of town. *sigh…

For some reason this year, i dont feel at all excited for my birthday. It’s like another day. I had no countdowns nor did i really made any plans for this year. I think i’m just simply having a small birthday dinner with some of my close friends and I, but unfortunately my birthday is also on Mothers day so most of my friends can’t go because they already made plans with their mom.

I don’t know why i feel like i’m so empty. Like i want to get a way because nothing seems to cheer me up like i use to anymore. I lost all my happiness along with a lot of other people’s bond with me. My life is living on a budget and it’s totally getting to me. I can’t spend on this or that or anything. I want to be happy again. & the only person that can make me truly really happy is Tam, but for some reason it seems like he disappeared.

I have my cousin Jenny over, so i guess he’s giving me time to spend with her. I love her a lot, and i also miss her like crazy…but i’m just not feeling myself anymore. I feel like i’m hiding under a mask again, especially a day before my birthday….i totally and completely feel like shit.

When We Say (Juicebox) - AJ Rafael <3

“Somethin bout the way
Somethin bout the way you look
In my eyes
You make everything so damn easy
So easy that I don’t got to worry bout a thing

And baby when we touch
All I can see is the image of us
Sitting by the ocean
Just before the dusk
Sippin on a juice box and
Sand between our toes

This is the part when we say were in love
And the part where we have our first kiss
But this ain’t a movie
I know you can’t come with me
You got your life
He better be treatin you right

Just tell me you don’t love me
Tell me you don’t feel the same way that I do
Tell me I don’t make you smile
Like I do when you walk in the room
You’re so hard to let go

This is the part when we say were in love
And the part where we say it’s forever
But this ain’t a fantasy
I know you can’t come with me
You got your life
He better be treatin you right

This hurts so much to know that you’re
With someone else when you should be with me
It’s just hard to accept that I can’t be around
He better be treatin you good
I’m no Einstein but I know a sign
When I see one
And I know you love me too
I know you love me too

This is the part when we say were in love
And the part where we have our first kiss
But this ain’t a movie
I know you can’t come with me
You got your life
He better be treatin you right
So good
You got your life
He better be treatin you right”

I’ve been having disturbing dreams lately. Well not disturbing but more depressing and confusing. Thats what dreams are: confusing, but i don’t understand why i always dream about such things.

My latest dream was about Prom and how awful its going to turn out, my dress ripped, makeup smeared, and my hair was a mess. So in the dream i ended up not going to prom.

Then, the next dream was more weird. I was in a car chase with two guys i’ve never met in my life. They look like they’re in their twenties, and i guess i was in my twenties too because i don’t look like ‘me’ anymore, but a lot older…
Finally, both of them caught me and i was now in a computer factory. (imagine old and abandon factory) Both of them sat down and i was in the middle and in my mind i knew what i was doing. I had to pick one of them. I was struggling to pick one of them for some strange reason, like i couldn’t. This old lady helped me pick, but it was still no hope. Both their names were on a piece of paper, i read it like some foreign language i don’t understand. I woke up later on.

In reality, i was like..where’s tam? But i guess in my dream i knew i wasn’t with him anymore. I knew i might had an affair with one of these guys while the other was my boyfriend. Strange as it is I don’t ever want to see their faces again! It wasn’t a nightmare but it was horrible. ugh.

noodlecuphoai:

What can I say? History repeats itself. Or maybe I’m just stupid enough to fall into the same trap. Hopefully this time, it’ll take a different, better, course. I’m crossing my fingers..

Someone should slap me or something.

 Don’t tell me…
you’re with you know who again?!

T_T tsk tsk hoai.