Mims

The weather outside the window
Resembles your many changing expressions
Begins to rain
The rain crys with me
Can’t see clearly
But I don’t want to see clearly either
Leaving you, I silently retreat
Couldn’t bare to disclose the story
My tears flow down into my heart
Learning how to let go

Listening to the sound of rain, each drip drop distinct
Your breathing resembles raindrops soaking into my love
Really hope rain will be able to pour nonstop
Let missing you continue
Let love be transparent
I fell in love with the rain that gives me courage (Rainy Love)

The tear drops outside the window
Each drop accumulates
The moisture indoors
Resemble memories of my love for you
Really hope rain will be able to pour nonstop
Rain love’s secret
Able to continually last
I believe I will see the beauty of the rainbow

The cold cold air
is suffocating, i’m unable to breathe
The distance of ten thousand raindrops
Makes love disappear completely
Leaving you, I silently retreat
Couldn’t bare to disclose the story
My tears flow down into my heart
Learning how to let go

Listening to the sound of rain, each drip drop distinct
Your breathing resembles raindrops soaking into my love
Really hope rain will be able to pour nonstop
Let missing you continue
Let love be transparent
I fell in love with the rain that gives me courage (Rainy Love)

The tear drops outside the window
Each drop accumulates
The moisture indoors
Resemble memories of my love for you
Really hope rain will be able to pour nonstop
Rain love’s secret
Able to continually last
I believe I will see the beauty of the rainbow

The moisture indoors
Resemble memories of my love for you
Really hope rain will be able to pour nonstop
Rain love’s secret
Able to continually last
I believe I will see the beauty of the rainbow

So i can’t sleep, obviously. So many things going on lately. I’m just “BLEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” like..i dont even know, i feel like a robot sometimes with the same routine everytime. Eh, and i’m sort of ‘grounded’ I’m trying not to out as much and try to help out at home as much as i can…but i just can’t do it for some reason. I want my BeeDee now. I doubt my mom would let me drive it though, because of that stupid restriction code ‘p’ on my licence, i can’t drive unless someone is in the car with a licence with me. So what? its like a permitt? BAH! gayyassssss.

Hmmm, I’ve been stressing out with my own personal problems, and i’m not sure if i’m going to the U of H for college…I mean..i’m just confused. I shall call up that college on monday. Hmm..and TAM! oh my gawd, tam tam tam. He pisses me off sometimes. Well not really..but its just that there are times where i just want to scream! ugh.

So i know i’m not perfect, there is no need to point out my imperfections. Why do i mention my ex’s? Because i’m damn scared & afraid niggah. ugh. AAAAAANNNDDD, why do i always want to see my friends? (jackie, stephen, anjana, kenny, etc.) because i want you to feel comfortable around them as well, i want you to know them like how i do. (he doesn’t hate you guys…he just selfish)

Like…He doesn’t want to drive around stopping at hobby lobby every other day to visit jackie, or go to lighted windows to see stevooo & kenny. This is what he said..”Mimi, sometimes when i’m with you, i feel like you just want to be with ‘them’ and not me, and you can, its just that you don’t have to drag me into it every time, i get mad because i want to spend time with you, not them.”

I know…that sounds sweet..but someone a little bit green? GAHHH, if you don’t like it…just say so! He doesn’t hate you guys…i just constantly ask him to see someone, especially jackie. lmfao. hahaha, he just wants me to himself. SELFISH! bleh, but i guess i’m not mad at him for that…*sigh..lmao. I guess that shows that he really does care. :)

last hope…i hope tumblr isn’t stupid and delete 2/3rd’s of this post like it did the other. OMD, i would switch to blogger if i have to! lmfao. G’night you guys. I’m currently watching “hi, my sweetheart” (taiwanese drama) it is addicting after ep. 5. muahaha, lmao ;] ‘night.

jacquelinehernandez:

Feeling a little on the flipside today..more like surreal…i dont know whats going on in me…all i know the weekend is here and its calling my name. I feel like hanging out, but at the same time I feel like staying at home alone. Locking myself up and becoming one with music, seems like the best weekend for me. Sometimes I just cant handle the world and the people…blehh…its okay…we all have our moments. Well I’ll see if i hang with mims…i love her(: lol goodness..i am a stalker!! xD anyways..I decide not tell him i like him. I feel like its the best thing I can do for the both of us. Plus hes a really close friend…I dont want the bond to get lost. Lets just hope I dont look like an idiot in the end. lol anyways..I havent been learning my korean…like im suppose to…im such an effin slacker!! D: so two days ago, I made myself a promise. A promise to change for the better. To stop being a slacker and be productive, to be more outgoing and to have adventures. And to keep learning Korean….lmao but yeah..oh and to get healthy! thats a big one! fa sho! so..thats all i have to say for now…oh brian gomez..i suppose you are my bestie..lmao

 What does Brian have that i don’t have?! LMAO, kidding. and dudeeee, you so DIDNT hang out with me this weekend D: well, idk…i was sort of ‘grounded’ i been out way too much with Tam. :/ EHHH, but! we shall hang out for chinese new years!! :] & i love you too, my jackie chan ;]

Whatever you have to say to ‘him,’ go for it. Life is about taking chances and risks. To strive for your happiness you have to work for it, Why live in fear and not know ‘what if’? loveee, you are beautiful, strong personality and mind, any guy would be lucky to have you. I’ll sure be jealous once you’re taken ;]. Muahaha, no homo.

Is in God’s hands now. I really, really hope he’ll come through for me this time. I know i did bad, I know i’ve sinned. But hopefully he’ll forgive me and listens to my prayers. I know its bad to pray for something ridiculous, but i really, really hope he can listen. If all else fails, I really don’t know what i’m going to do.

Sometimes, i can only tell a certain number of people this, but lately i can’t tell anyone but Jacqueline. I love her, she’s like my sister.

My life is great, I have family that love me, a very sweet boyfriend that cares, and friends around me when i need them. Even though i probably have been in a bubble lately because i’m not at school anymore, but i’m on my own journey now, and i know i can’t drag anyone along with me. Everyone goes on a journey of their own, and even if they’re not on the same path..that doesn’t mean they’re lost, they’re just simply following their dreams/goals/and intuition.

jacquelinehernandez:

its been a while since i truly typed on here. Ive been extremely busy. okay maybe I havent been “extremely busy”….lol Last weel I worked all week…sunday-saturday. it was exhausting. ehh…invantory thank goodness its over..it was hell. almost had a panic attack again on saturday. there was wayyy tooo many people in that store…i couldnt go with it…every once in a while i would go to the breakroom or the stockroom…to breathe…i didnt go outside…cause theres was people there too…man…i felt like just punching something…anything to let the stress out. everything around me was getting closer and smaller and being filled with people….i keep getting dizzy but i didnt get a dizzy vision..i just had the feeling…i had to concrete on one thing. and sometimes when they would call me to check..i wouldnt go the first time..because..then i would see..loads of people checking out…ehh…then wendy kinda got me back about not going up there. im sorry but didnt meant to..plus chelsi wanted to go check. lol its true…ehh…anyways days have been going faster then usual…i kinda dont like it. that means time is going faster..and i dont want that..for some odd reason. i dont know im weird. anyways. yesterday sensi juntao(andrew) gave a badge that he found in one of the boxes in the back…it was the best!!!!!!!!! the simplest things are what get to me! it was of a chinese guy..i beileve…and it even had a mirror on the back…i was like awww…lol its like a souvenior..a personal kind..even though i never went over there xD lol il post a picture later..anyways…iat the end of day…i thought i lost it…and i was sooooo upset ): i thought maybe i dropped it and someone got it or threw it away…ehhh…but in the end it was in my vest pocket :D so now its safely at home with me (: lol its weird to have something that belongs to someone else..well i mean someone you dont even know. and they dont even know…thats kinda creepy…D: oh well you take it as you want..all i know that thing made me happy(: and seeing mims yesterday to and bearing gifts for moi! :D lol love the shirt xD im still wearing it now (: be proud and your smell is kinda wearing off…damn i sound like a creepy stalker D: duddeee…i need a life. asap. anyone willing to help me with that? lmao.

 LMFAO! “your smell is kinda wearing off…” STALKER! lmfao haha. But dudeee, i wanna SEE you wearing it!! D: :(((((

(via susiie)

I admit, i do overthink things. I can’t live simple because i like being complicated. I’m plain, but yet like the complexity (

After my car wreck, i really didn’t breakdown much. I’ve been happier actually. Much much happier because of everything. I know i have to work for my happiness again, find another job, and finally graduated from high school. What else can i complain about besides the fact of my car? Nothing. Bestfriends are in neutral, I don’t think i had any problems since Tam came in my life. I’ve been nothing but happy with him here. <3 :]

There are times where i still get visits from someone unexpected, telling me to be careful and watch my back. I don’t understand. I get flashbacks of things i don’t want to remember, the faces of whom left me long ago, and the scar of betrayal that affected me so much. I finally let go and became free. But who knows if that wouldn’t happen again?

I began to overthink and close myself from my bestfriend[s]. Hiding things from Tam is hard sometimes, but it helps. I can see the people in my life drifting away and replacing me. (i know i’m thinking too much) but the feeling…it hurts to the core. I want to cry out so bad, I wanted to hold on to them as tight as i can, but thats only selfish of me. I can’t help it if there are others that they love. I can’t hold them back to just me. I guess i’ve been green lately too. :/

Ahhh, so i’m here in my room. Been moody since yesterday. And i’m just super quiet. I don’t feel like talking to anyone. I feel so close off. Even Tam thinks i’m acting all weird. He’s blaming it on my PMS, but whatever. I guess i can’t run away from my ‘emo-ness’ all the time. Even though for the pass month and a half i’ve been truly happy. Thanks you guys.

The one month was…weird. I was expecting more of an excitment? lol oh well, at least i get to spend nine hours with him, i’m happy :)

He came over at two, after his classes. My mom invited him over actually (which was kinda weird.) He knocked on the door, and i was in my room when my mom answer it. I came out, and saw a dozen roses in one hand and a stuff animal in the other. “Happy one month Mimi” and gave me a kiss :)

My mom made ‘Banh Xeo’ (vietnamese food) for us to eat and it was delicious! one of my favoriteee foods!! lol, we spent the first 2 hours at my house doing nothing but talk and watch TV (which we barely did) and was under control and eyes of parents. -___-” creepy as hell. Around 4 he convinced my parents to let me go out for two hours (because i was grounded…i couldn’t go anywhere) and yeahh..first we went to Hobby Lobby to see Jackie & give her belongings back to her :D, than i got my end of the present was..a car wash at karen’s work place :DDD lols the inside of his car smells like STRAWBERRIES now :D, than walmart to develope my pictures and buy milk for annie. (lame. we barely go anywhere) than back at my house…and ate some more, than played card games. haha what a lameooo. later on around 8ish, parents went to bed and no one was around…we talked for awhile ;] and than i guess that was it. talking for hours. Until now..he just left my house like a few minutes ago.

That was like the weirdest anniversary ever. but idk why i didn’t mind. I love his company and i love him. He makes me so happy. Even though there are people out there who doesn’t like us being together…that really bothers me, but i dont care. I love him too much to let go now, even if only has been one month, if felt like a lifetime to me. *sigh..

This day a month ago, I’ve spent time with this amazingg guy named Tam Huynh. We went to the mall to buy Xmas presents for our friends ( i only had like a twenty on me with a few ones, so i bought stephen his hat ), we spent the day together picking out outfits for girls/guys that we cared about, out to eat at dennys, and then finally, “Avatar.” That movie was extraordinary. I loved it.

Little did i know that i started falling for him. It probably was obvious on how i’ve acted and conserve i was. I hope he didn’t noticed. I never thought i would have the ability to like someone again. The first attempt of “falling in love” was greaaaat, but the ending result wasn’t so spectacular. 10 months of agony. I really didn’t like the idea. So i tried to ignore the feeling.

at 1:23 AM he asked me out. So basically the 19th is our one month. I wanted to say ‘no’ so badly, but for whatever reason i did the total opposite. & now i just can’t get enough of him. I want to see him everyday, i want him to miss me every 5 seconds, i want him to love me. ha, how demanding are those? But it wasn’t me that wanted that, it was my patched up broken heart.

Today wasn’t the best day. I had an argument with my parents, and exploded on them, even tears came out. (i haven’t been this mad since summer) but it was a short outburst, not a long one. They said ‘no’ for me to leave the house..(because i been out for the past 3 days in the roll) but whatever the 18th is important to me. I had to see him.

Devon came to pick me up. We went to the movies to watch ‘the lovely bones’ i thought it was okay, it wasn’t bad. But at least i got to see Tam & he took me home. Talked for a long time before going home. “I’ve never loved any girl as much as i love you, Mimi.” and then, he kissed me and my heart went racing. I think I love him.